Ep 265: Lillie’s Birth Story – A True Emergency Cesarean

Dr. Nicole (00:00:00): In this Birth story episode with Lily, you are going to hear what a true emergency cesarean birth is like.

Lillie (00:00:14): Welcome to the all about pregnancy and birth podcast. If you're having a baby in the hospital, you are giving birth in a system that too often takes away power from women over what happens in their own bodies. I'm Dr. Nicole Calloway Rankins, a practicing board certified OBGYN, who's had the privilege of helping well over a thousand babies into this world. I've been a doctor for over 20 years, and I'm here to help you take back your power, advocate for yourself, and have the beautiful pregnancy and birth that you deserve. This podcast is for educational purposes only, and it's not a substitute for medical advice. Check out the full disclaimer at drnicolerankins.com/disclaimer. Now, let's get to it.

Dr. Nicole (00:00:55): Hello there. Welcome to another episode of the podcast. This is episode number 265. Whether this is your first time listening or you have been here before, you know I'm glad that you are spending some time with me today. Lily is a 36-year-old first time mom living in the suburbs of Philadelphia with her daughter partner, two cats and one dog. She's a board certified veterinary oncologist. Lily was induced due to gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. At 37 weeks, she was in labor for 36 hours, and just as she was transitioning to push, her baby went into distress and the heart rate dropped below 70. She was rushed to the operating room for an emergency cesarean birth. Her baby was stuck in her pelvis and it was hard to get the baby delivered. Lily felt like this was a pretty scary and traumatic birth. Now, like many women who have been on the podcast, or if you're listening to the podcast, you did everything possible or you're doing everything possible to prep for birth by reading, taking a birth prep course.

(00:02:10): Listening to this podcast, one of the things that Lily took to heart was learning about all possible birthing situations because even though her birth was terrifying for her, she still felt prepared because she had listened to the podcast about C-sections, and she took my childbirth education class. Childbirth education is so important in helping you prepare for possible things that may come. And if you'd like to learn more about my childbirth education class, the birth preparation course, then you can check it out at drnicolerankins.com / enroll. It's completely online. You can do it on your own time and at your own pace, and with your partner too. There's a hundred percent money back guarantee, plus you get lifetime access. I've actually had many folks use for more than one pregnancy, and if you use the code, Dr. Nicole, you can grab an additional 10% off. So check out all the details of the birth preparation course at drnicolerankins.com / enroll. All right, let's get into the birth story episode with Lily. Well, thank you so much, Lily, for agreeing to come onto the podcast. I am very excited to have you share your story.

Lillie (00:03:27): Thank you. I'm excited to share it.

Dr. Nicole (00:03:30): Yeah, so why don't you just start off by telling us a bit about yourself and your family?

Lillie (00:03:33): I am a middle-aged. Can I say my age? Sure.

Dr. Nicole (00:03:37): If you want to. Yeah.

Lillie (00:03:38): 36-year-old professional in the Philadelphia suburb region. I am a veterinary oncologist, which is a very niche specialty in the veterinary world. Yes, I work with cats and dogs. People ask all the time, right? No one, I mean, people do actually. They do treatments for their ferrets for cancer, but I don't treat ferrets, so I am a veterinary specialist. I work in Philadelphia, live in the Philly suburbs. I have a daughter, five and a half months old. She is amazing. Her name's Gaia.

Dr. Nicole (00:04:10): Oh, I love that. That's a pretty name. Thank

Lillie (00:04:12): You. And I live with my partner, Paul, and we have two cats, jacket and pants, and one dog chalupa. I think one of my cats is actually in here

Dr. Nicole (00:04:23): Right now. He's not supposed to be. Right, right.

Lillie (00:04:26): I checked the room and yeah, that's pretty much the short and sweet of it.

Dr. Nicole (00:04:31): All righty. Veterinarian on oncologist sounds like a lot of schooling and training.

Lillie (00:04:35): Oh my gosh. I mean, it's similar to, I wanted to be an MD

Dr. Nicole (00:04:40): First

Lillie (00:04:41): Before I learned at the age of 14 that there's doctors for animals. I was like, well, why not just do that? It's so grueling. So I was in school for 12 years. I finished my residency in 2018, and that's what brought me to Philadelphia. I'm originally from New York City, born in Staten Island, raised in the Bronx, so I've pretty much been in school. I'm always learning, you know how.

Dr. Nicole (00:05:02): Yes, exactly. Exactly. Alrighty. Well, in order to talk about your birth, we have to first talk a little bit about your pregnancy. So what was your pregnancy and your prenatal care?

Lillie (00:05:13): Yeah, so I'm a planner, super type A plus, as you probably gathered

Dr. Nicole (00:05:19): Already and can relate to.

Lillie (00:05:22): So I mean, because of my career and the extensive education, kids were the last thing on my mind for a very long time until I met my partner in 2020. And because I'm a planner, I had to get ready for it, and that took about three, four years. And once I was ready, it was the usual, I bought all the books. So I bought, it starts with heat, eggs.

Dr. Nicole (00:05:43): Well, wait, what did you do to get ready in three or four years? What was happening? I need to know. Well, at

Lillie (00:05:51): First I wasn't sure I wanted kids because in my whole life I was about my career. Being a veterinarian is really hard. I mean, it's hard to get into vet school. It's hard to get into a residency. So before I met Paul, kids were not even really on my mind. So I had to mentally prepare myself. I had to go to therapy, work through some stuff, and then of course, academically learn about fertility. I would track my periods, but I never really knew what that meant, and I wanted to do things the right way. I'm air quoting because I know that that's not a thing. If anything, motherhood has taught me there's no such thing as perfection. But this is past Lily. So I bought all the books. I tracked my cycle. I bought the clear blue fertility test. I test my progesterone. I was militant about everything, and I was like, we have to have sex now. Okay.

(00:06:50): Went to my OB a year ahead of time, which is actually very relevant to my story. So a year before I started, I was, again, planning. I want to conceive in a year, it's probably noteworthy to say that I have comorbidities that I also was afraid affecting my pregnancy. Another reason why I was hesitant to get pregnant. So I have chronic hypertension, depression, anxiety. So my goal was to find a black ov because I was very much afraid of all these comorbidities, problem alert, they were. And with the mortality rate of black women in the United States, I was very much afraid of dying through birth. So I found a black ob. She's phenomenal, a year ahead of time, and it was just fate. I googled her, found her online, and she kind of helped me, again, prepare a year ahead of time, get me on the right medications and kind of talk me through things.

Dr. Nicole (00:07:57): Okay.

Lillie (00:07:58): I love that. With my prenatal care. Okay.

Dr. Nicole (00:08:00): I love it. I love it. I love how proactive you were about things and recognizing that you had health challenges that you wanted to optimize as best you could before you got pregnant. So that's amazing. I think every OB, GYN would love for their patients to do that. So I'm sure she appreciated it and was like, okay, yes. Let's do this.

Lillie (00:08:18): Yeah.

Dr. Nicole (00:08:20): So how long did it take you a long time to get pregnant once you got into trying?

Lillie (00:08:26): No. So in my head, it was going to take a year, year and a half. At that time, I was 35 going on 36, and the dreaded 35, right. Geriatric pregnancy. And I was just like, oh, my ovaries all dying. And I heard other girlfriends and colleagues state they had to do IVF. It took them a year or two years. In my head, I'm like, oh, it's going to take forever. It took three months, and I was kind of bitter about it, even though I worked really hard to do it. But I was, in my head, I was like, oh, it's going to take a year, year and a half, maybe six months at the least. So five month, three, when things happened, I was like, what?

Dr. Nicole (00:09:04): It worked. It all came together, and you're like, okay, I am here. Yeah. Yeah.

Lillie (00:09:10): So that was pretty funny, and I was like, I don't think I'm quite ready.

Dr. Nicole (00:09:16): Well, it sounds like that was the start of how things are going to happen the way they happen sometimes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So then once you got pregnant, how was your pregnancy for you? And then did you have the same OB for your prenatal care?

Lillie (00:09:31): I did, yeah. Thank God mean. That was my, well, I went to a practice, she warned me a year prior. She said, we are a practice of seven, eight. It's a large OB practice of rotating ob. So she was like, well, I will be your primary ob. Just realized during birth and the prenatal care, it won't be just me. So I was forewarned because she figured out. I was like, I'm latching onto you. You're mine. And she's like, yes, that's fine. And I asked her pointedly before I even conceived. I said, do you trust the other obese in this practice because I am not going to die. I just kept harping on this death thing, and she was just like, oh my goodness, this crazy girl.

(00:10:19): She explained to me that she's been at that practice for years, and she wouldn't be there if she didn't align with her colleagues. So that was really important to me. So the pregnancy was, it started off very tough and pretty much was that way the entire time through till birth. I think I had a week of asymptomatic joyful time to be like, yay, I'm pregnant. And then quite quickly, I pretty much got every symptom you can think of except for the hyperemesis. That's what I was also afraid of. But I was super nauseous the second week after, and mind you, I found out I was pregnant really early. So because I was type A and tracking my cycle, I got a faint positive. My cycle was weird, such that by the time I was seen by my OB and got my scan, my first scan, I thought I was nine, 10 weeks. And she was like, no, you're seven. Okay,

Dr. Nicole (00:11:22): Okay.

Lillie (00:11:22): Okay. So somehow, I don't know, I was earlier than I thought, but I was really nauseous, food aversion, crying, breast tenderness. I got that weird metallic taste in my mouth that I obsessively Googled how to get rid of it. It was horrible.

Dr. Nicole (00:11:41): Okay.

Lillie (00:11:42): Acne, I

Dr. Nicole (00:11:44): Mean, everything.

Lillie (00:11:46): Everything. Okay. And the first trimester was more so me sleeping. Truly all I did was sleep for the entirety of my pregnancy. But the first trimester, I was like, sorry, Paul,

Dr. Nicole (00:12:00): I am just tired.

Lillie (00:12:01): I am going to go to work. I'm going to eat, and I'm going to go to sleep. That's it. And thankfully, he's amazing. And he was like, okay.

(00:12:10): So he cleaned everything, but it was tough. Second trimester thing started to ramp up. I saw an MFM, so I was seeing my OB and my MFM from the beginning because of my comorbidities. So because of the hypertension, geriatric pregnancy, anxiety, depression, and of course they were like, oh, you're obese because my BMI is not perfect, and I won't get started on that. They immediately sent me to an MFM. So I was seeing my OB MFM with some regularity. I think it was every few weeks in the very beginning, second trimester, ramped up, third trimester, ramped up a lot, and come pants, please come. My second trimester, I had to go up on my hypertensive medications, start insulin. Things just kind of catapulted from there. But I won't get into that quite yet because that goes into the birth store.

Dr. Nicole (00:13:13): Got it. Got it. Okay. Okay. Well, how do you feel like you were treated during your prenatal care?

Lillie (00:13:19): Wonderfully. Okay. I couldn't have had a better medical team. The hospital I was at, all the obs, thankfully, I was terrified, were wonderful. My main OB was correct. They're phenomenal women who were all just so nice and so loving, and I'm like, you see hundreds if not thousands of pregnant women. It was as if I was the first one. They were just all so personable and just so reassuring. My MFM, I didn't really deal with him funny enough. It was a male. I dealt with his nurses the most, and they were wonderful. I had to get so many non-stress tests and so many ultrasounds and so much blood work that I actually develop a nice relationship with the nurses, and they were so wonderful. My care was phenomenal. Even during the birth. I'm very blessed. I got so lucky. Okay.

Dr. Nicole (00:14:16): Okay. Now, were all of the other physicians in the office, black women as well?

Lillie (00:14:21): No. My OB was the only black woman. There was a black midwife who was present at my birth, but I had never met her until the day I gave birth. Okay.

Dr. Nicole (00:14:31): Okay. Got it. Got it. All right. So it sounds like you were getting, even though you weren't feeling great, you felt like the care you received was top-notch.

Lillie (00:14:41): Absolutely. Okay. That's good. That was so wonderful. That's good.

Dr. Nicole (00:14:44): So what did you do to prepare for your birth? I know the answer to this question is everything, but let's

(00:14:51): Get to the details. What did you do?

Lillie (00:14:54): It's everything. I mean, so I am a very spiritual person, not religious per se. I believe in the fact that things are aligned. Maybe not everything happens for a reason, but there's not a lot of coincidences in life. So I was terrified of birth in terms of the pain that I would experience, so much so that the first and second trimester, I was like, la, la, la, la. I don't want to hear about it. But because I was pregnant and Instagram's algorithm is just creepy, I came across your account having never followed you before because I wasn't pregnant. And I was like, whoa, it's a black OB in that one of your most recent posts, I kid you not, when I found your account was you were giving away your course to three winners or a select few winners. And I entered and I got it, and I was like, what? And I was like, okay, well, clearly I need to learn about birth, but I'm not going to do it right now. So I enrolled and it sat for

(00:15:59): The first trimester, second trimester, and then come the second, I was like, maybe you should start preparing. Otherwise, I was preparing for each week and what the fetus was doing, all that stuff. And I was like, I'll learn about birth later. But then as time ramped up, I was like, girl, you got to get it. Yeah, because the baby has come out my body. That's the biggest event. So I started listening. I was listening to your podcast, but not the birth story episodes. I was steering clear of those because I was like, I don't want my anxiety to shoot up. So I was listening to all your informational, the ones where it was just you talking about very specific topics. I listened to those most of my pregnancy. And then around second trimester, I was like, okay, listen to these birth stories. So anything that seems scary in the title, I didn't listen to it.

(00:16:41): I just went through the scary ones. I started going through your course, and in your course you were harping on, you got to be informed because you just don't know. You just kept saying, you're like, birth is unpredictable. And the perfectionist planner me was like, I can't hear that right now, so I'm just going to keep listening to perfect scenario stuff. Right? And then I got closer. I was like, all right, I need to listen to the hard stuff. So I listened to the traumatic births, I to the stillbirth, which those are hard. I listened to basically, I mean, I tried to, my work commute is long. It's two hours a day. So your voice was just so you had plenty of time? Yes, on all the time when I was in the shower, when I was cooking dinner, I mean all of it. And that was really helpful.

(00:17:32): But I still in my head was like, ah, I hope that's not me. Even going through your entire course from start to finish and going through the C-section part and all of that, I was like, okay, I know what to expect. But in my head, I was like, it's going to be great. So I did your course, read all the books with the course. I had a doula. I had two doulas. They work as a team. They were phenomenal. What else did I do? I did pelvic floor therapy, which turned out to be pointless, I guess.

Dr. Nicole (00:18:03): Oh, well, okay. Why do you, just because you think, because we'll get into what happened. Yeah, we'll

Lillie (00:18:09): Get into it. But I went to pelvic floor therapy starting the beginning of my third end of my second trimester. She was wonderful. Okay.

Dr. Nicole (00:18:16): Was it covered by your insurance?

Lillie (00:18:17): It was. Okay. Nice. Yeah, it was amazing. I was, oh, goodness, yes. What else did I do? I did. I think that's pretty much it. I mean, it's a lot.

Dr. Nicole (00:18:27): Yeah, that's plenty. That's plenty. So what are some things that you wanted for your birth experience?

Lillie (00:18:32): I just didn't want to tear, so I've never had surgery before. Prior to my birth, I had LASIK eye surgery, and to me, my pain threshold was low. I was like, I am a pansy. I up my toe. I'm out.

Dr. Nicole (00:18:46): Paper cut hurts. You got to know Hurts. Hurts. Where you stand hurts. Okay.

Lillie (00:18:49): So I was just terrified of tearing. So I was like, I want to give birth vaginally, because abdominal surgery to me would've been my first. And I was like, I don't want that. And I know how painful that is as a vet. I'm like, oh my gosh. So I was like, vaginal birth, zero tear.

Dr. Nicole (00:19:05): Got

Lillie (00:19:05): It. Or ary. Okay,

Dr. Nicole (00:19:07): Okay.

Lillie (00:19:08): Of course, I wanted my baby girl to come out healthy and happy more than anything. I didn't care about it being at home, I mean, I knew that was not the case of my comorbidities. My OB was very straight with me. She was like, you're going to be monitored like a hawk. There's no home birth. You can be here in the hospital. I was like, yes, I want to be here in the hospital. I didn't really have much expectations that I took to heart from your course is I was like, I had a plan. I didn't even write it down. You had a part where you had us write it down. And I was like, you know what? I'm just going to internally have these expectations. But I really tried to set myself up so that I wouldn't be further traumatized or be unexpected. But yeah, low expectations, surprisingly. I know.

Dr. Nicole (00:19:53): Okay. Okay. Were you planning to get an epidural?

Lillie (00:19:56): Yes, 1000%.

Dr. Nicole (00:19:58): I

Lillie (00:19:58): Was like, there's no way. I'm not doing. Gotcha.

Dr. Nicole (00:20:03): No way. And then I know you said you had been afraid. You were really afraid about maternal mortality and things like that. Did that fear dissipate as you got closer to birth based on the care that you had? Yes.

Lillie (00:20:17): Okay. Yeah, definitely. I went from being afraid something would happen to me, to being afraid something would happen to her. Something would happen to me and I wouldn't be around for her, but not in the way that I was crippled. I mean, truly crippled before. And I just had a feeling. I was like, they got me. My care crew were so on point, and I called them so many times after hours, and they encouraged it. There was one Sunday I went in because I was like, she's not moving as much as she usually is. And they were, happens all the time. And then of course, when I went in, she was moving along and they're like, yep, it's the magic hospital air. It happens. Yeah, my fear did decrease, but it was still in the back of my mind. And because of course, it's just at the forefront, even with my wonderful care team, and my partner was terrified too, because I had harped on it so much prior. Got it. The closer we got to birth, he was like, you might die. I'm like, oh, no, I didn't mean to transfer to.

Dr. Nicole (00:21:15): Right. Oh, bless his heart. Paul was like, now I'm worried. Yeah.

Lillie (00:21:22): I mean, yeah.

Dr. Nicole (00:21:26): So then let's get into what was your labor and birth?

Lillie (00:21:31): Okay, here's where, I'll pull up my notes because it was a lot. So I had a plan to go into my OB that day. So this was the end of November, so five months ago. And they were going to do one more non-stress test. I did that. Everything looked good. My OB did my first cervical exam, which I was also afraid of, but I did your trick, and I put my fist underneath my lower back, and that worked. I mean, it still hurt a lot, but, oh, sorry, I should rewind a little bit. So a few weeks before I was hospitalized, so the beginning of November, I was hospitalized because at my MFM, when I was doing my non-stress test, I think at that point it was every week, twice a week, I was going to the MFM, getting a non-stress test. I think Monday, Friday, it was a lot. My blood pressure was elevated for the first time in my pregnancy ever before. It was phenomenally normal. And I was like, oh,

Dr. Nicole (00:22:31): Thank God,

Lillie (00:22:33): I'm clear. And then all of a sudden it was elevated one 50 over. It was just not too elevated, but it was different than it ever has been. So that was on a Monday, and then, sorry, that was on a Friday. And they were like, okay, keep track of your blood pressure at home, which I hadn't been doing this whole time because I would go to the doctor so often. I'm like, I don't need to take my blood pressure at home. I'm not going to stress myself out. So I took my blood pressure that Monday after work, which is probably not a good idea because work was stressful at that point. I wanted to be done with everything. Again, my commute is an hour each way from Philly to the suburb. It's terrible. So I got home and I was like, lemme take my blood pressure.

(00:23:15): It was one 60 over 90, and I was like, that has to be wrong. So I checked it three more times and I got the same results. So I called by OB and they were like, yeah, you should probably come into the hospital and get checked out. So I went in my blood pressure. There was 1 35 over 65 with fluctuation elevations. They did full blood work. They checked my urine protein creatine ratio, and that was elevated. I have 360 written down. I don't know if that means I, that means we do it for animals, but it's different. So I was hospitalized on continuous fetal monitoring. They did IV fluids. And my ob, thankfully, she was the one on call that night, and she was like, I was like, oh, thank God. And she was like, you have, what did she call it? Chronic hypertension with superimposed preeclampsia.

(00:24:06): And she was like, at this point, just to be super safe, we're going to give you two steroid injections while you're here, keep you overnight. So they gave me one, is it 24 hours apart? Yep. Yeah. So I was discharged 24 hours later, I got two steroid injections. She was like, we're going to induce you at 37 weeks. The initial plan was no later than 39, but because of the protein uia, she was like, or protein in my year. And she was like 37. And I was like, okay, great. So my due date went from December 15th till November something. And of course, again, the planner in me was like, I'm not ready. I'm freaking out. And I'm like, her room's not done. This isn't done. And of course, it makes my blood pressure go up and up and up. And then also, I started insulin a few weeks before my birth as well, which the steroid injections did not help

Dr. Nicole (00:25:01): With my diabetes. Yeah, it will throw your blood sugars all over the place.

Lillie (00:25:06): So I figured that was pretty important to note before getting into my birth story. Sure. Fast forward to the day of birth. Saw my ob got my first cervical exam, and she was like, okay, you're three centimeters, 60% of face. Oh, sorry, 60% of face. She couldn't tell dilation. My cervix was too posterior. Got it, okay. But my blood pressure was stable, and she was like, well, she looked at her schedule and she was like, you can come in tonight or tomorrow morning. And I was like, well, I'm not ready tonight. I thought you were going to say a few days from now. That was the initial plan. And she's like, no, based on our schedule, it's probably going to be better for you to do either do it tonight or because they already had other scheduled inductions or tomorrow morning. And I was like, great. Tomorrow morning. And she's like, oh, actually, no, sorry, only tonight. Somebody's already booked for tomorrow. So I'm like,

Dr. Nicole (00:26:02): Okay.

Lillie (00:26:04): Thankfully my hospital bag's already packed. So I text Paul, he's working from home, and I'm like, it's happening today. And he was like, what? And I was like, get off of work now. So much stuff. We have to move up. So they scheduled me for 7:30 PM to go into the hospital around 10 in the morning. And you were

Dr. Nicole (00:26:21): 37

Lillie (00:26:22): Weeks? 37 weeks. That was on the nose that day. I was 37 weeks. They were playing around. I was like, okay. So I got a pedicure. We went out to dinner. I was like, I just need to

Dr. Nicole (00:26:36): Relax. Yes. Then

Lillie (00:26:38): I went straight from dinner to the hospital. They did another cervical check. I was 80% of face, three centimeters dilated, negative three station. So started Pitocin. I didn't want the Foley because of what I learned. So I was very happy when they were like, oh, we don't need to do the Foley anyway, not you're three centimeters. I was like, woo. It spared. So started Pitocin that night was all the nights, but that night was rough. I couldn't sleep at all. So anxious and uncomfortable. I slept in the delivery room. I had to be continuously monitored. The way the hospital set up. It was not a comfortable recovery bed. It was the delivery bed that's plastic. And yeah, my back

Dr. Nicole (00:27:26): Beds are, they're not very comfortable,

Lillie (00:27:30): And I couldn't get comfortable because I have an IV in my hand and a blood pressure cuff on the other arm, and I'm just like, this is how it's going to be. So I had to ask for Benadryl. I was like, I need, it's 1:00 AM it. And I was like, and they're coming in literally every two hours on the.to check my bg, check my blood pressure, check on baby girl. And I was like, can you give me something?

Dr. Nicole (00:27:53): Right? Because was like, sure,

Lillie (00:27:55): Get me to sleep. They gave me Benadryl and I slept, I think for a little bit, but it wasn't great. And I was so hungry at that point. They weren't letting me eat. They weren't sure what was going to happen. But my lower back was hurting, and I was like, I'm starving. They increased the Pitocin. And then, so yeah, early that next morning, they increased the Pitocin. So more it went from somewhere around 2 million units to six. Cervical shack happened again, still three centimeters, 80% of face, but the cervix was more anterior. They mentioned breaking my water, but they couldn't reach. And I was like, do you have to do that?

Dr. Nicole (00:28:39): It should definitely be a conversation. It's not like an automatic. Yeah, right.

Lillie (00:28:44): And it was a conversation. They then increased my Pitocin some more to ate, and I was allowed to eat breakfast, and I was like, thank God

Dr. Nicole (00:28:56): You have to have some energy. I mean, it's a long process. You have to have some energy. I

Lillie (00:28:59): Had your voice in my head, and I'm like, come on, Dr. Nicole said I could eat.

(00:29:07): But this whole time, I'm very impatient and anxious, and I'm just like, how long is this going to be? Because another thing that you harped on is it could be days. Days. And in my head I'm like, four days, how long is this going to be? So the next day comes around, my Pitocin is increased to 10. After breakfast, they were like, you should get out of bed. So I got out of bed. I had a doula on call, but my really good best friend was there with me. We lived five minutes from the hospital at that time. So Paul was back and forth. He was not working, but he had to take care of the pets. So he would drive to and from, and he had to sleep. I was like, we live five minutes away. I'm not going to make you sleep on the sofa if you can actually go home. And we don't know how long this is going to take. So I bounce on the ball, talk to my friend, we having a good time and chatting. At this point, my contractions were minimal. I think you could see the waves on the screen, but I didn't really feel anything. And I was like, this is so boring.

(00:30:11): So bouncing on the ball, chatting with my friend, increased Pitocin to 12, and then around 10:00 AM they increased to 14. They're like, you should just go for a walk. So I walked around with Paul sometimes with my friend,

Dr. Nicole (00:30:24): So they have portable monitors.

Lillie (00:30:26): Then they just took me off the monitor. They were just go for a walk. She was doing fine. So I literally did a lap around the OB unit or four laps. Then they increased my pit to 16. The contractions became a bit more regular, but then tapered off. I still wasn't really aware of them. They just felt like tightening in my abdomen. I didn't feel any pain. But you could see on the screen, they're like, did you feel that? I'm like, no. Right. And I'm like, oh, is this how bird's going to be? It's great if it's this easy. Then they increased my Pitocin to 20. They did a cervical check that afternoon, no change. And at this point, I am getting a little frustrated because I'm uncomfortable. I want it to be over. They stop the Pitocin. Then the doctor told me that it can actually, what happens, it not resistance, but yeah, it's like the receptor. The receptors get

Dr. Nicole (00:31:28): Saturated and it just stops working. So it's like you have to reset things by clearing it out of your system,

Lillie (00:31:33): Right? So they were like, okay, we're stopping it. And I was like, no.

(00:31:38): But around two 30 that afternoon, they gave me side attack, 25 micrograms discussed that they won't restart the Pitocin for another few hours. And I was like, all right, sounds good. Fast forward to that night. So I was from the afternoon to that night, late that night, I was not on Pitocin and just kind of moving around, getting back into bed. I couldn't be out of bed too long. Again. I had all these monitors, IV fluids on that night. I was just crying. I was so tired. I was crying. The dry air in the hospital was making my nose bleed. I started to severely bleed from my nose, and I was like, is this okay? And the doctor's like, yeah, it's okay. They gave me nose drops, but I wanted it to be over so bad. I was like, I'm so tired, and I'm not even experiencing the worst of it yet. And it's already 24 hours about, they gave me more side attacks, another dose of 25 micrograms. So that night started Pitocin, they were titrating back up to 20 microgram, or sorry, microliters. Overnight was annoying. Again, I was being, nurses were coming in every one to two hours. I think they were up to one hour at this point, checking my bg, checking my blood pressure, checking the monitor, and I'm just like, please God.

(00:33:09): And then the blood pressure cuff kept over inflating and falling off. So that would make the monitor go off. It was terrible. I was like, okay. I thought I wasn't sleeping at home. Now it's just really, okay. I'm really not sleeping. So that morning, my contractions on the monitor had increased, but I still was not aware of it. And I was like, please let this be hot breath. I was like, this is great. I can't feel anything. Another cervical exam happened. Those were terrible. I hated those. I knew that they would be tough, but it was just a lot. Oh my gosh. Yeah, those were very painful. But I was four centimeters dilated, 80% of face negative three station. I was like one centimeter more. That's it. After all of that, that's it. They recommended. I just keep moving. They're like, keep changing positions. Get up.

(00:34:02): You got to get out of bed. Stay out of bed. So I would take off my monitors, walk around bouncing the ball with a monitor, just do all the things. And this is the next day, by the way, so this is 36 hours later. Okay. Yeah, because from the 29th to the, sorry, the 28th, 29th, and now we're in the 30th, the morning of the 30th. So I'm just moving all around, doing all the things, getting really impatient, still not feeling many contractions. But then around 11:00 AM the contractions became more intense. And I was like, oh, okay. This is what, all right, okay. I was like, oh, we're in business now. This is what we feeling, and I'm just moaning. And I bought two combs with me. I forget where I learned that from, and I'm squeezing these combs, and I'm just trying to breathe real deep through the contractions and moaning, and my friend is there, and she's like, yep, okay, here we go.

(00:35:01): The whole time we've been talking, chatting and laughing, and now I'm not responding to her. I'm just focused. And she's like, okay, here we go. So I'm doing active range of motion contractions. We call 'em intense at some point. So from 11:00 AM till birth, which ended up being at 2 38. Everything happened so fast. So that's why I took notes. One was drugged for most of it, and it just was like rapid succession in my head. It was from 11:00 AM till 5:00 PM but it was a short period of time when things just escalated. So from that point, my contraction scheme were intense. I had a new set of team members. So every day, this, sure, I haven't said it out loud. Every day was a new ob, and none of them were my ob. I only had my OB that first night. Got it. I don't think I mentioned that When she was like, well, if you give birth in the next 12 to 16 hours, it'll be me. And I'm like, that's not going to happen.

Dr. Nicole (00:35:59): In

Lillie (00:36:00): My head. I was like, I'm not going to get that lucky. So it wasn't her. So I had a new team, which included this wonderful black midwife who I had never met because she didn't do high risk patient because she's a midwife, but it was her. And she was working underneath one of the obs, who I had met before, and I had a wonderful nurse, I should mention, I had a rotating team of nurses, but there was this one nurse in particular, Emily, who was phenomenal. We bonded so much that they had different shifts. They could be in the, I guess the nursery recovery or labor, and she would request wherever I was after that first night that we were on. So I actually had her at all parts of my labor, but she was just wonderful. So at that day, labor Day, it was Emily and wonderful nurse, the black midwife, Kelly and the OB who I had met, and they were talking about breaking my water again, and I was a little hesitant, resistant, and not Dr. Kelly, Kelly, the midwife, could tell I was going to put up a little bit of fight.

(00:37:15): Again, she's black, she's a sister. She's like, let me be real with you. She was like, it's been almost 36 hours since you've been here. She's like, I'm going to tell you this. OB loves doing. Like, I don't want you to be that. I'm going to help you have a natural birth. So she kind of gave it to me straight. She was wearing a mask and she took that mask off and she was like, listen to me.

Dr. Nicole (00:37:39): She was like, SIS, this is what needs to happen. Okay, all

Lillie (00:37:42): Right. She was like, I'm trying to help you. And I was like, got it. Okay,

Dr. Nicole (00:37:46): Got it. Okay. Okay.

Lillie (00:37:48): Alright. Say no more. I didn't want a c-section. Sure. So they talked about breaking my water, warned me about the C-section, and that may happen if I was resistant, but they didn't have to because around 1108, I'm laying sideways this whole time I'm moving in different positions. Pause there. My doula was called because my contractions were ramping up, and Kelly, the midwife was like, call that doula Now. I was just going from moaning to just breathing deeply. I started crying, and then I'm on my side, and I remember this so vividly. I'm on my side, the contractions are terrible. At that point, I was like, I need the epidural. And then all of a sudden I felt like this pop and then fluid gush and I start crying because the contractions went from I'd say a six out of 10 to an 8, 8, 9. And I was like, holy crap, what was that?

(00:38:48): And then my doula walks in at that moment and I'm like bawling. This whole time. I wasn't crying. I was just moaning and rocking and breathing and I'm sobbing. And they're like, what happened? What happened? What happened? I'm like, I think my water broke. I feel fluid underneath. So they check and they're like, yep, your water broke. At first, they were like, oh, we're not sure. And I was like, what else would it be? What else? It was like a balloon in my uterus with fluid coming. At that point, I didn't have any discharge. So that was a little annoying, but fine water broke. Doula got there at that moment. She immediately jumped in, held my hand, Paul, poor Paul, he's in the corner. What in the hell is going on? My best friend, my doula, the midwife, the nurse, Emily. And then there was a nursing team too, and the OB would come in once in a while as well.

(00:39:35): So it's a small room with a lot of people. At that point, I was like, I need the epidural. So earlier that day, frustratingly, Emily was like, okay, the anesthesiologist that's on, I like him a lot. He's really good. And I was like, okay, that's wonderful. She's like some of the others in terms of technique and stuff. She was like, so he's great. Turns out that was not the case. So I was like, I need the epidural. They came pretty fast. Thankfully he wasn't busy. That was my fear. I signed the paperwork, he talked to me, cleared the room, except for Paul, and I would say that pain of the epidural was worse than almost any part of the story that I'm about to finish, because he had to stick me for times. And I'm like, I don't know what's going on. I wasn't moving, but he just couldn't get it the first time.

(00:40:33): And I'm screaming, every time he pokes me, I am. It's as if somebody was literally stabbing me to death. And poor Paul, he's holding me. I didn't know this, but he looking at the needle, going to my back. And I thought he was just holding me and looking somewhere anywhere else, but I'm screaming, sobbing, boogers, everything on him because I'm in so much pain. So much so that by the fourth time in my head, I was like, if he doesn't get it this time, I'm done. He's not giving me an epidural. But he got it. But Paul was watching the needle go into my back four times, and he got lightheaded. So he turned white and somebody noticed, I think it was my nurse, and she was like, like, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down. You need to go sit down. And they got him some water and I was like, oh my God, are you okay?

(00:41:23): What's going on? He was like, I was looking at the needle. I was like, why were you looking at me? He was like, I dunno. I had nowhere else to look. And I was, later on, I was like, was it really long? He like, yes, that is long. Yeah. So finally I get the sweet relief of the epidural after being stabbed four times. And I was like, oh, this is great. They could still feel the contractions, but they went from a nine, nine and a half to back to a six. And I was like, oh, okay. Not that bad. I could still feel my legs. I can move my legs. I was more comfortable. But then what I remember happened so quickly, but after the epidural, I felt sweet relief, still having contractions. And I remember they were like, Ooh, we need to move you.

(00:42:16): I was in a position and they're like, we need to move you with this. Everybody's looking at the monitor. I'm just in a D. I'm like, Ugh, relief. But they're looking at the monitor and they're like, we need to move this way. So I'm assuming that's when her fetal heart rate started to decrease. They were like, Nope. Okay, move again. Okay, now move again. And then I think her fetal heart rate recuperated, and they were fine. Then very quickly I became nauseous and I was like, I'm going to vomit. So they lift the bed up all the way, and I'm vomiting into the bag, and my best friend who's had two kids is like, yay, good. That's great.

(00:42:56): She's like, this means you're getting close. And I was like, what? I remember learning about this, but maybe I did. I just couldn't remember. But I'm like, sick, nauseous, drawing up all the Gatorade. They didn't let me eat that day. They only let me have Gatorade. So I threw up all the Gatorade. I forget when at that point the cervical check happened, but I had one last cervical check. At this time. I was 10 centimeters, zero stationed, and I was like, Woohoo. So I think that was before I became nauseous and vomited. So everyone was like, yes, it's time to push. That means she's coming. And then all of a sudden shit hit the fan, and I'm sitting up vomiting into the bag, and they're like, you need to lay down now. So they grabbed the bag out of my hand, lay me down, and there's five, six people in the room just staring at the monitor, not saying anything quiet.

(00:43:48): And Paul is just lost. I'm lost. I'm not looking or asking questions. I feel great and nauseous at the same time. I'm like, oh, I don't feel pain. And then nothing happens for a little bit. Again, it's just really unclear what happened in my chart. I read my chart as a vet. I'm like, I'm going to read my chart and see. She wrote that I had a category two fetal heart rate tracing, and I remember seeing that her heart rate was 70, which is I know, not normal. No, it's not. It's very bad. Dangerous. Yeah, that's quite low. So at that point, or maybe it was before again, I don't know, when the anesthesiologist comes back in the room and he's like, hi, it's me again. And I'm like, oh, God, go away. And he's like, I'm going to be the one doing your C-section.

(00:44:43): And then Kelly, the midwife was right there, and she was like, we haven't talked to her about that yet. And I'm like, I'm sorry, what? So he awkwardly backside of the room, and I'm like, what is going on? Again, no one's saying anything. They're just staring at the monitor. And last time I heard I was 10 centimeters, zero station we're about to push, but they had me lay down. I could not move. They were stay in this position. And then the doctor comes in and she's like, her heart rate's really low, and I may need to do a C-section, and I cannot, I don't have time to get her permission except for right now. So here's some forms. She goes over hemorrhage and all this stuff real quick. I'm drugged. Everything's happening fast. I just signed. I was like, sure, whatever. Just make sure that I survive this.

(00:45:32): And she does too. And this is when I start getting terrified. I signed the consent form. I think it was not that long between me signing and them literally, as you have said on your podcast and your course, they start ripping, ripping, ripping the chords out of the wall. And I'm like, oh, this is what Dr. Nicole is saying. This is an emergency. So I'm assuming her heart rate must have just stayed low. And they were like, we got to go. So much so that I think I had my hands in the railing. They're like, move your hands. They just whisked me into the room. And poor Paul, he's like, no one's talked to him. They don't have time. He was just like, he knew that I was getting a C-section, but he had no idea why and what was going on. He's not medical whatsoever.

(00:46:19): I kind of had an idea what was going on. So I was taken in at 2 21, and I think all of this happened between 11:00 AM and 2 21. I remember being in the or and weirdly enough the night prior, I don't know why, but I was like, I need to look at Dr. Nicole's notes on C-section. That's one of the parts I skimmed and kind of didn't really pay attention to because I was like, that's not going to happen to me. And I kid you not. I went to that very specific section of your course on my phone. I couldn't sleep. I wouldn't sleep. It didn't matter. So the night prior, I was going through your course on C-sections. I was like, all right, so this is what they do. Just in case it's been a while, and I dunno what's going to happen tomorrow. Thank God I did, because everything that you said happened except for why I couldn't deliver. So I was on the OR table. I remember feeling so nauseous and freaking out like I'm going to vomit on my back and aspirate and die. So I tell the anesthesiology nurse and the anesthesiologist is next to her. They're giving me, I think, fentanyl, morphine, propofol. At one point I was like a nauseous, and the nurse, thank God, bless her, she puts an alcohol pad under the oxygen mask that I'm wearing. And I was like, oh, that worked.

(00:47:45): So that worked. And they gave me on Dron IV as well. I was just like, I'm going to vomit. And they were like, you cannot move. Clearly, you cannot move. So my epidural was increased. I was given fentanyl, morphine, propofol. At some point, I think I was given preoperative antibiotics. They did a vaginal prep. Everything was done fast. All I remember is there was a curtain between me and all the action going on over there. And I believe it was the OB Kelly, the midwife was assisting her. There was a thousand nurses. Paul wasn't on to my side yet. They had to get him changed into scrubs in cap. And then at some point, he arrives next to me, and I remember this moment so vividly. He is white, he's shaking. I think he was crying. So at that point, I was so nervous. I was asking the anesthesiologist, I'm like, I can still feel my legs.

(00:48:36): I going to feel this. Am I going to feel this? And he's like, no, no, you're not. I'm like, can you make sure I don't feel this? I'm freaking out because my epidural's wearing off and he does something, probably the morphine or something or fentanyl or propofol. But I go from, am I going to feel this to looking at Paul and going, are you okay? He's looking at me like, no, I'm worried about you. Are you okay? Because shaking and crying, and I can tell he's scared. And I'm like, are you okay? And I'm like, oh, he's not okay. What are you talking about? So as this is happening, I mean, again, you hear the OB barking order. She is like this, do this, that things are happening. I feel tugging. She goes so fast. And what happened, finally, when they get into my uterus, they find that Gaia was severely wedged into my pelvic canal. She wrote in her notes, maternal anthropo pelvis at zero station. She was wedged into their multiple attempts, were tried to deliver her head out unsuccessfully. So their freak, I just hear, I feel pressure like somebody's hand fist is in my vagina pushing Gaia's head back up because she's stuck.

Dr. Nicole (00:49:55): Stuck. That's what they were doing.

Lillie (00:49:57): And I'm assuming her heart rate was still very low because I could hear panic in the obs voice. And that's when I was like, fuck, sorry, can I curse? Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Nicole (00:50:10): No, we can just bleep it out. Yeah. I

Lillie (00:50:11): Was just like, oh my god, she might die. But this was going on internally. I had no cortisol spike. I've dropped, but in my head I'm like, okay, this is really bad and scary. One of the RNs had to go beneath the drape. She had small, nimble hands. Actually, she was the charred nurse. I met her. She had to replace my catheter. She was phenomenal. She used her tiny, nimble hands to, she's the one who successfully got Gaia unstuck. And they took her out. And this happened again. They started at two twenty one. She was birthed at two thirty eight. But it sounds like that was a very stressful time. And everything happened so quickly. Her Apgar scores were three, six, and nine. And I remember they ripped her out of me after I just feel pushing to get her out, and it's quiet and it feels like an eternity before I hear her cry and I finally hear her cry and everyone goes, yay, woohoo. She's here. And I'm like, okay, can I see her? And they're like, yeah, yeah, soon, soon, soon. And I'm like, I asked. I have to ask at least five times because it feels like an eternity before they put her on my chest and I'm like, okay,

(00:51:29): Here we are. We have arrived. I was given Pitocin. It sounds like I delivered my placenta. Naturally, they submitted for histopath. I dunno why, I guess because of all my stuff. And then Paul went to do skin to skin with her because I was very much, at some point in all the chaos, I was like, I want him to do skin to skin. I want you to delay clamping of the umbilical cord as much as possible. I was like, here's my wishes. But I understand you got to do what you got to do to get her out alive to make sure that I'm fine too. I had a left periurethral laceration they had to fix when they put the in before or after my epidural. So they had to fix that. Then they sutured me up. I think that took, at that point, that's when they gave me propofol.

(00:52:20): It was probably at least an hour, if not an hour and a half, fixing the urethral tear, stitching me up, right? Things had happened so fast that at some point the doctor's like, Hey, we're going to do in intraoperative abdominal rads just to make sure we didn't leave anything in you. She's like, I had to go so fast that I want to just double. They counted the sponges, but she's like, I need to be sure. So they took rides. Nothing was left in me. And then I was finally wheeled into the recovery. Well, I went back to, I didn't go to recovery room right away. I went back to the delivery room, got to do skin to skin with her, and then took to the recovery room, and that was my birth. And I don't think anything could have prepared me for that. For that.

Dr. Nicole (00:53:11): Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Okay, so you are correct. That was a true, true emergency and just, I mean, golly, so well, let me get the easier stuff out of the way. Did you breastfeed at all?

Lillie (00:53:35): I tried. So because of, again, never having had surgery my entire life to having abdominal surgery, the pain was immense. I mean, even if, I'm sure if I had a high threshold per se, it was still tough. So breastfeeding her with the incision was so painful. She also screamed bloody murder. Whenever I tried to latch her, it wasn't coming fast enough. Also, her blood glucose was low. I think it was like 40 something. I can't remember now. But they were saying stuff, if it doesn't reach this parameter, we're going to have to put her in the NICU on glucose unless we supplement with formula. And I was like, whatever supplement. I don't

Dr. Nicole (00:54:21): Care. Right? Yeah, yeah. No nicu. So fix that.

Lillie (00:54:25): I was like, no nicu. Bring in the formula. So we started feeding her formula and I'm like, this wasn't not my plan, but this is easier than trying to breastfeed with an abdominal incision. And her literally going so red and screaming, rearing back. I'm getting conflicting opinions and information about how to breastfeed from all the nurses as they rotate. It's so frustrating and it's so exhausting. But I did mixed feeding. So I did breastfeeding, pumping mostly and formula for the first 60 days of her life. And then when she turned two months, I was like, I think I'm done with the breastfeeding. It was too much.

Dr. Nicole (00:55:07): Got it. Got it. And then you said it was a lot of pain. How else was the physical recovery from your c-section?

Lillie (00:55:13): It was really hard, especially since they were like, you got to get up and walk now. And I'm like, I'm sorry, what? And they're like, you have to walk. You have to walk. You have pass gas. So it was the hardest thing I've ever had to recover from, and I hope that's it. But the pain was really tough. They gave me Dilaudid, they gave me oxycodone, they gave me Tylenol, ibuprofen. Nothing really took the pain. I was just like, I want to feel nothing.

Dr. Nicole (00:55:42): Oh, yeah, that's not, I

Lillie (00:55:44): Mean, that wasn't going to happen,

(00:55:47): But it was a lot of bleeding, which I'm glad I was prepared for that. You still bleed even when you have a C-section with a lot of bleeding, a lot of pain. They gave me an anticoagulant injection too. And the uterine massages or uterine checks were so painful, not because, just because of the incision. I'm just like, this is just as bad as a cervical check. You're pressing on my incision. And they're like, we have to. And I knew that having learned what that was for, it was really tough. The first three days were the hardest, but then getting home was still very challenging to recover from and take care of this baby. I wasn't expecting to recover from a C-section. I mean, I learned about it, but I had all this stuff at home for the icicle pads. Sure, got it. This and that, of which most of it I returned. It's like, well, I don't really need that. I used the Dermo plast for the urethral tear, but that actually healed pretty quickly. That wasn't that bad. It was really tough.

Dr. Nicole (00:57:02): And how was your doula helpful at all during the postpartum process.

Lillie (00:57:08): Yeah. I mean, she was there for the very short part of

(00:57:13): The labor before I was whis to the or. She did at home visit a week after, and we kind of reviewed what happened because it was so fast and I was just so sleep deprived in days. I had to ask my best friend what happened from her point of view. I had to ask the doula what happened. I talked to the OB before I was discharged, but it still didn't make any sense, but my doula was wonderful. She, sadly, she was as helpful as she could be, but she wasn't there for most of it because it was so fast and such an emergency, but she was very supportive afterward and after that one house visit, that's what I paid for the package. I could have gotten multiple house visits, but I was like, that's fine. I was texting her questions here and there, but honestly, I pretty much stopped needing her support. I'd say two months out from birth, but they sent me emails like, oh my gosh, she's a month old. She's a two month old, she's three months old, and they would check in. The company overall is fabulous.

Dr. Nicole (00:58:20): I guess looking back, are you glad you did the preparation or how are you feeling about, because that was a

Lillie (00:58:29): Lot. Yeah. I still don't think I have a hundred percent, not recovered, but internalized everything that happened. I haven't had the time or the right amount of solution, but it was really hard. I'm happy. I did prepare, especially for the C-section, having heard birth stories about C-sections and then doing your birth course. I think if I didn't have that, it would've been scarier, but I knew what was going on. I just didn't know what was going on with her, especially since the circumstances don't sound typical, the ob, she was like, in my 30 plus years of doing this, I've not seen a baby's wedged into the part of your pelvis that she was wedged into, and she couldn't really explain to me. I'm like, physical? What do you mean? Where?

Dr. Nicole (00:59:23): Yeah. I'm trying to think of a good way to explain it. It's just their little heads are just a certain direction and it can just be hard to, they're just with the bone structure and it just be, you're trying so hard to get the heads to move and it's socked in, it just won't move. It's actually terrifying to, on the other side of it, you've

Lillie (00:59:47): Had it happen. Oh,

Dr. Nicole (00:59:48): Wow. Yeah, it's terrifying. Then you start thinking, running through how I have to get this baby delivered, so sometimes we even will pull the baby out breach the other way because we can't get the head to come unstuck from the pelvis. Oh my goodness. If she said that, I can tell it was difficult. Probably still. She got some gray hairs from that. Yes, that's what she said.

Lillie (01:00:17): That's what she said.

Dr. Nicole (01:00:18): She was like,

Lillie (01:00:20): I am so happy. You're doing well, and so is Gaia. But she was like, I've aged quite a bit.

Dr. Nicole (01:00:27): Yeah, it'll do it. Yeah.

Lillie (01:00:30): It was a very emotional recovery from that standpoint. I'm probably going to cry now because I actually, we talk about, or you talk about on your podcast and in the United States, we don't have good postpartum care for the mother, but another testament to how wonderful my team was, they were like, we're going to see you back in a week to check your blood pressure. So before I was discharged, my blood pressure was very fluctuation. They were thinking it was just due to the stress of everything. But I went back a week later and my blood pressure was so high. I was checking it at home. It was so high, and my doula, oh, not a doula, my black ob, she was like, you, you've been through a trauma. It makes sense. She was like, I was expecting her to hospitalize me again for my blood pressure.

(01:01:19): It was like one 60 over. It was high, and I was on lab beta all, and I think another drug at that time, but she was like, I'm not going to hospitalize you. She's like, you've been through a trauma. You have to process it. It was a lot, and she didn't tell me this at this visit, but I think at my final six week visit, she told me that the OB who did the surgery called her and she was on clinics. The clinic and the hospital were very close together, and she ran. She was like, oh, it's Lily, and she told me, she was like, when I first met you and you told me I can't die. She took that in. She took that on and she was like, I didn't realize she was also afraid of what I was afraid of, but she was like, they paged me and they told me what was going on with you, and she ran. She and my friend was like, oh, that was you. My friend was there for that visit. She was like, I saw a black lady run past the, or She dropped everything and by the time she got there, she had been delivered, but she was just as scared as I was and

Dr. Nicole (01:02:35): Okay.

Lillie (01:02:36): Very much relieved that I was okay, but

Dr. Nicole (01:02:40): She

Lillie (01:02:40): Took that in. She was like, when you told me when we first met that I'm counting on you to make sure I don't die.

Dr. Nicole (01:02:49): Right, right.

Lillie (01:02:51): It was, yeah.

Dr. Nicole (01:02:53): Okay. Oh, and now we're all crying. Okay. Okay. Well then as we wrap up then, what would you say is your one favorite piece of advice that you would give to someone who's getting ready for their birth?

Lillie (01:03:08): I mean, listen to Dr. Nicole.

Dr. Nicole (01:03:15): Definitely

Lillie (01:03:15): Take your course. I mean, you are just so phenomenal and a godsend. I was meant to take your course and meet you, and as scary and traumatic as the birth was, I truly, truly think that if I had not prepared with your course and listen to your podcast religiously, it would've been worse. The fear of the unknown would've just been, and I think it was probably not as bad for me as a medical professional. I understood even more so what was going on and what needed to happen. So I can't imagine a non-medical professional not taking your course. That's just you're going in blind. I would say don't be as crazy as I was, I guess, but definitely prepare, but also realize that you can't prepare for everything. You just had to go with the flow and hope and pray everything turns out okay, and also pick a good team, vet your medical professionals as a medical professional, I know the importance of trusting your team and if possible, if you have the resources. I know insurance can make things tricky, and again, I know I got lucky. Somebody's looking out for me to have found the team I found,

Dr. Nicole (01:04:40): Oh, well, thank you so much. I so appreciate you coming on to share your story. Where can women connect with you? You can say nowhere. If you're not on social media anywhere, that's totally fine.

Lillie (01:04:50): I'm not on social media. Okay.

Dr. Nicole (01:04:52): You're a smart person. I'm,

Lillie (01:04:55): But I'm not

Dr. Nicole (01:04:56): In that way. Yes. I don't blame you. I don't blame you. Well, thank you so much, Lily, for agreeing to share your story. There are just so many wonderful lessons from this, and I really, really appreciate you coming on.

Lillie (01:05:08): Thank you. Thank you so much. This is so cool.

Dr. Nicole (01:05:20): Wasn't that a great episode? I really appreciate Lily coming on to share her story, and it was made even a little bit more special because her name is the same as my mother's name spelled exactly the same way. Now, after every episode when I have a guest on, I do something called Dr. Nicole's notes, and here are my Dr. Nicole's notes from my conversation with Lily. One is that this was a true emergency cesarean birth. Sometimes people say they had an emergency cesarean section, but most people actually do not have an emergency cesarean. If there is time for you to talk about it or time to wait, if there's 15 or 20 minutes, 30 minutes before you have a C-section, that is not an emergency. It may be urgent, but that is not emergency. A true emergency C-section is when we are ripping the cores out the wall, we are running down the hallway.

(01:06:16): There's not a lot of time for conversation because we need to get the baby out quickly. So this was a true, true emergency cesarean birth. Okay. Number two is preparation does not take away trauma. Lily said that even though she listened to the podcast and she took the course, this was still a traumatic experience for her. Doing those things isn't going to prevent bad things from happening, or again, isn't necessarily going to take away trauma, but it most certainly can make things easier. Preparation can 1000% make it easier for you to deal with challenging situations and know what to expect and what to anticipate and how to handle things. So again, preparation doesn't take away things. It actually helps you prepare for things. Something that I see on social media sometimes is that people think you can educate yourself out of a certain outcome for birth, and that's just not possible.

(01:07:20): Birth is unpredictable and we cannot control the outcomes. There are a lot of things we can control, but we can't always control the outcomes or whether or not it's going to be traumatic. But again, preparation 1000% helps manage that. So you can check out my childbirth education class, the birth preparation course at drnicolerankins.com / enroll. Use that code Dr. Nicole to get an additional 10% off, but do please invest in some childbirth education, whether that's books, whether that's a course, whether that's YouTube videos, all of the above, because that preparation will make a big difference. Okay. Next up is that you deserve to feel safe. You deserve to feel supported, and you have to ask questions in order to feel safe. This is where childbirth education or the process of making a birth plan can help. I talk about how making a birth plan is so much more than that piece of paper.

(01:08:17): You really need to ask some questions in order to help you feel safe, and you want to do that during the prenatal period so you have an idea of what to expect. If you wait until when you go into labor to do that, then that's going to be too late. So ask all the questions during your pregnancy so that you feel safe during your pregnancy so that you feel supported during your pregnancy because you absolutely 1000% deserve that. And then the last thing I say is that we get a bad rap sometimes, but there are actually some really great doctors out there, and there are many doctors who care, and in that vein, I want to ask you to give your doctor some grace. Lily's doctor dropped everything and ran to the hospital to try to be there for her when her c-section happened. Now, on the other side of that, there were probably patients who were in the waiting room who had to wait for a bit while her doctor attended to what was a true emergency.

(01:09:23): So please sometimes give your doctor some grace. Sometimes things just happen where they need to put their attention in a certain place for a moment. Now that doesn't excuse some of the long waiting times, and sometimes people are overbooked. There's certainly issues with our system that we can improve. So these types of waiting situations and things like that don't happen as often as they should, but please consider giving your doctor some grace. There are some great doctors who care. There are some great doctors who really want to do the right thing for you and help you have that best birth experience possible. Okay, so there you have it. Do share this podcast with a friend. Sharing is caring, and be sure to subscribe to the podcast wherever you're listening to me right now. Leave me a review in Apple Podcast. I love to hear what you think about the show. I do shout outs from those reviews from time to time. Also, check out the birth preparation course, drnicolerankins.com/enroll. So that's it for this episode. Do come on back next week and remember that you deserve eight. Be beautiful pregnancy and birth.