Ep 295: Creating Emotional Safety in Birth: A Home Birth Story with Lessons for All

Dr. Nicole (00:00.098)

This episode is a first for the podcast. I am sharing a home birth story. While home birth isn't my lane, I primarily focus on hospital births. I wanted to learn more and see what we might take away from the home birth experience to help make hospital births better. Lauren Baffgate joins me to share her beautiful, deeply thoughtful journey into home birth after having a hospital birth for her first.

She didn't make the choice lightly. She did her research, worked with a trained professional and had a backup plan in place. What she found was a level of trust, respect and personalized care that is worth talking about. Even if home birth isn't on your radar, this story offers powerful lessons we can bring into the hospital setting.

Dr. Nicole (00:52.014)

Welcome to the Birth with Power podcast where knowledge is power and power transforms birth. I'm Dr. Nicole Callaway-Rankins, mom of two and practicing board certified OB-GYN with over 20 years of experience and nearly 2000 births attended. I've seen firsthand how the hospital system can leave women feeling unheard and uncertain, but that doesn't have to be your story.

Here, you'll get the knowledge, support, and strategies to take charge of your birth experience so you can walk into the hospital feeling calm, confident, and empowered. Note, this podcast is for educational purposes only and it's not a substitute for medical advice. See the full disclaimer at drnoklomerhagens.com forward slash disclaimer. Now let's get to it.

Dr. Nicole (01:41.336)

Hello there, welcome to another episode of the podcast. This is episode number 295. Whether this is your first time listening or you have been here before, I am so glad you're spending some time with me today. In this episode, we're doing something a little different. This is the first time I'm featuring a homework story on the show.

Now, home birth isn't really my lane. I'm an OB hospitalist. That's where my focus has always been. Hospital is literally in the title of my job description. But I've been curious to learn more about what we might take away from the home birth experience. What could we learn that might help us improve hospital birth? Lauren Bathgate is here to share her story. She's a licensed clinical social worker in Baltimore.

certified in perinatal mental health and nature-informed therapy. And she's also a mom of two. Her first birth was in a hospital, her second at home. And today she walks us through what made her choose home birth and how she prepared for it in a very thoughtful, evidence-informed way. Now we don't dive deeply into comparing the two birth settings, but Lauren's story naturally reveals areas where we can do better because no matter where you give birth, you deserve

respectful, evidence-based care that centers you. All right, let's get into this important conversation with Lauren.

Dr. Nicole (03:13.262)

Thank you so much for being here. I am so excited to have you come on the podcast and share. We're going to talk about a little bit about your hospital birth to get the background, but you're my first guest that I'm interviewing specifically to talk about home birth.

That makes me so happy. Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to be here.

So why don't you start off by telling us a bit about yourself and your family.

Sure. So my name's Lauren and I'm here in Baltimore, Maryland. I live here with my husband and my two children who are three and five. And I'm also a perinatal mental health specialist. So I bring that to the table as well. I probably won't focus on that today, but just so that you know, part of my journey led there.

Yeah, yeah, that's definitely helpful to know for sure, for sure. So let's hop right into it. We're going to get to your home birth, but let's first talk about your hospital birth. So your first birth was a hospital birth. Just kind of briefly tell us about what that experience was like for you. Any high notes, any low notes? So tell us about that.

Lauren Bathgate (04:15.438)

Yeah, so I think one thing to know is that I actually always wanted to have a home birth for my first birth. Okay. So I had a unique experience going into ultimately choosing a hospital birth. We felt that it would be best. were first time parents and we just thought it would be what was best at the time. And so I did a lot of preparation, a lot of reading, going into the hospital birth about natural birth and low intervention.

minimal intervention. And so I was really well prepared and knowledgeable about physiological births and the whole process. I was not as prepared for what would happen when I got into the hospital setting. So lots of policies to navigate. So I should say my background is in hospital social work.

Okay, what happened?

Lauren Bathgate (05:08.512)

I'm very familiar with helping other people navigate the system, understanding that there are policies and there are reasons for policies. And so I think one of the things that happened in my hospital birth is that there were many different providers. So the OB office that I had received my prenatal care in.

I saw many different providers throughout that time, and so it was a little bit disjointed. There were some really positive things about getting to see a number of providers, but there were some negatives in terms of being able to describe really what I was looking for for my birth experience. And I remember at one point taking in my birth preferences. I had created a list of preferences, and that was sort of, they said, just bring it with you to the hospital. And then once I got to the hospital, that wasn't really something that was prioritized.

Gotcha, gotcha. Okay, okay. So do you feel like they were so what did you well, I should say a little bit, did you did you end up having a vaginal birth? Like, how did the labor and process go? Did you do unmedicated? And did you feel like you were fighting that whole time? I know, I just asked a bunch of questions, actually.

All of the things. Yes, I did feel like I had to advocate very strongly, which was hard for me, especially with it being my first experience, because I did feel like I had all of this information and all of these wishes and desires, and I really believed that I could do it. But the system and the people within the system were used to doing what they do in that system and following the policies. every little thing that would come up, I would have to advocate for.

in the middle of labor and contracting. you know, so I did ultimately to answer your other question. I had an unmedicated natural vaginal delivery, which is very much what I wanted. That was my birth preferences. But every step along the way from, you know, leaving our house, I think we ended up getting there around 2 p.m. And so to fast forward, it was really pretty fast, I think faster than they thought it would be for my first time.

Lauren Bathgate (07:12.398)

and right from the get-go, they wanted to put an IV in and that is not something that I wanted. I didn't think that it was necessary. And then they agreed to put it in a different placement, so they were going to put it in my hand. So there I am on the birth ball and stop me if I get into too many details here. It took them, I'm not exaggerating, almost 15 times to try to place it in my hand and

Just to say you're contracting and I remember saying I need you to stop. I'm having contractions. I can't do both of these things at the same time. So you can imagine how worked up I was. Another unfortunate thing that happened when I was in the hospital and this had actually happened relevant history for a prenatal check two weeks before I was due.

I consented to an internal exam, but I did not consent to a membrane sweep. And that was something that was done.

Did they say afterwards, I did a membrane sweep? Like, is that how it went?

So what was really hard about that situation for me is that while the doctor was doing the internal examination, she felt a lot of movement and it felt different to me than just a normal internal. And she said to me, wow, I can feel her hair. And so there was a lot of movement and I froze, right? That's a classic trauma response. I froze, I didn't know what to do in that moment. And so I ended up sticking with that.

Lauren Bathgate (08:45.986)

provider and that practice because I was going to deliver in two weeks. Sure. So anyway, fast forward and there is a resident at the hospital who basically did the same thing, only this time they did an internal while my husband was outside of the room because part of their policy and their process is to also ask questions about domestic violence and do all the screenings and things. So they usually ask the partner to step out, which I was familiar with from working in the hospital. Right.

But they did the internal and the resident looked at the nurse and she said, and I swept her membranes. So there was discussion about something happening in my body, but I was laying there on the bed and they could have talked with me about it and that didn't happen.

Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. So then what was like your postpartum care and experience like in the hospital?

So my postpartum experience coming home from the hospital was challenging. So one of the other unfortunate things that happened during my hospital birth experience, there were some challenges with placenta delivery. hindsight is always 20-20. Now I've had two birth experiences and I can compare what happens when there's some sort of intervention and no intervention. also understand that every birth is different and so I can't necessarily draw too much from it.

There was some, I think, unnecessary intervention and time pressure around when the placenta would be delivered. And there was also some fear on the part of the provider that I had hemorrhaged. And I've done a thorough review of the documentation, and it doesn't support that. OK. OK. So the birth experience in and of itself, I kind of had to fight my way through each of the things in as diplomatic of a way as I could.

Lauren Bathgate (10:36.526)

Because that was another big thing for me. I wanted to have a good rapport with my providers. That was important to me. And so, needless to say, there were a lot of things that happened that made the ending of the birth experience very traumatic. And I actually ended up being blamed by the attending for it I had refused the Pitocin that they liked to give before in order to help with delivery of the placenta.

and eventually had to receive it after the fact they gave me a cocktail of all kinds of things because they were concerned that I was hemorrhaging. And truly I felt fine and I didn't feel that that's what was happening. But of course, when you have a medical provider telling you this is what's happening to your body, like, well, you've seen this many more times than I've seen this.

You have your baby, next time you get pregnant again, at what point did you decide that you were definitely going to seek a planned home birth?

I was pregnant already with my son. He's the one who we had in the home birth. I think I was still in the first trimester when we made that decision. And I had a unique model of care in that I had continued. I actually went back and I continued to see that OBE practice because it was what I knew. So that's an interesting piece of this story.

And there was a certain point at which I switched and I stayed for a brief period and did sort of a dual model of care, which is not super common where I am. And then eventually I had a conversation. I tried to get the blessing of the OB, one of the main OBs at the practice to have a home birth. And they were adamant that that was a really risky decision and they highly recommended against it.

Lauren Bathgate (12:26.247)

And I did a ton of research and was very, very thorough and intentional about the choice.

Okay, all right. God, I have so many notes in my head already. We're only like 10 minutes into the conversation. So you, when, I guess, when and how did you find a midwife to attend your home birth?

So this, I think when I realized that this is definitely the direction that I needed to go in, because I ultimately felt like it would be safer for me to have a home birth, safer, psychologically safer, emotionally safer. And so I researched a lot with people who I knew who either had experience with home birth themselves or who were in the field. So I had had a doula at my hospital birth and that was a very positive experience.

Okay.

And so I remember reaching out to her and asking for recommendations. And then there's also a resource, the American College of Nurse Midwives, where you can go on their website and you can search in your area to see who is certified and qualified to help with a home birth.

Dr. Nicole (13:33.166)

Okay, okay. So when you found someone, then how did you go about like deciding, okay, this is going to be the right person for me? Like what was that process like?

That was a pretty long process. I interviewed, I think it was three or four different midwives. So I really took my time with that. And I really appreciated the way that that seems to be pretty standard in their model of care. They allow you to do an interview and an initial consult. And I had many questions about what happens, a lot of what if questions. What about hospital transfer? And these were all things that I wanted to know about.

Ultimately, I chose someone who I felt seemed confident in their responses and the plan and had experience and felt like someone that I could really have a conversation with and be able to be collaborative with.

Got it, got it. Okay, okay. So then what was your, I wanna back up for a second and say, when you did your research looking into home birth, what conclusion, like what was your feeling about what the research showed that you looked at?

Initially, I had some fears, but I think like most people do, which is partly what led us to have a hospital birth in the first place about what the statistics would show in terms of outcomes. And I reviewed that, and while I don't have them in front of me at the moment, and maybe they've shifted slightly in the past few years, I was encouraged by the numbers. The numbers were different than I thought that they could be.

Dr. Nicole (15:09.176)

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, gotcha, gotcha. And you looked at things about how it would affect baby, and then of course, impact on mom as well. Absolutely. I think that's one of the things that we don't do so well is giving an accurate assessment of what the actual data is. Because when you look at it, it actually is the number, the chances of problems are low. So I think we don't do it accurate.

representation of that. do you feel like when you talk to that doctor and they were like, it's very risky, it's very risky, very risky, what were the things that they were saying that were like, don't do this?

It's hard to remember exactly what was said and I don't want to do a disservice by trying to piece that together. But I just remember the felt sense, you know, when you have a conversation and you can't remember the words but you remember the feeling. The feeling was that this is a really bad idea and it wasn't quite, you it wasn't like you're putting your baby in harm's way, but it was we strongly advise against this and we can't support it.

Got it, got it. Okay, okay, all right. So then what was your prenatal care like and the rest of your pregnancy like with the home birth midwife?

It was very different. I said in the beginning I had sort of a dual model of care. And so I still received all of the sonograms. And so I had imaging. And even the midwives had a portable machine that they could use for imaging too, which was really neat. They came to my home. And so at the time I had my daughter, who was almost two, and was able to be part of some of those visits, which was really, really special.

Dr. Nicole (16:57.112)

It is nice. Yeah. And how long were the visits?

They were about an hour, sometimes a little bit longer. They were really, really thorough visits. And I really appreciated that piece because it wasn't just the basics. It went far beyond into holistic care, nutrition, and how can nutrition support you? And what about holistic care, complementary and alternative medicine, which I definitely participated in. That was very helpful as far as acupuncture and chiropractic care.

So definitely more than just listen to the baby's heart rate, check your blood pressure. was more, it sounds like education and counseling incorporated into the visit.

Definitely, and they also did the other things too as far as checking vitals and all of that. was a really comprehensive package.

Gotcha, gotcha. Did you feel like you, I mean, you had obviously done a lot of preparation for your first birth, but what did you do to prepare for the home birth? And did you feel like you had to do as much education?

Lauren Bathgate (17:59.616)

No, so by that point, I felt really solid in the education. And I'm glad you asked that question because that's something that stands out to me as a difference between the first time and the second time. And I think that's just true of anyone who has more than one child. right. Once you've been through it, you're focused on other things. So my focus was really remaining grounded and continuing to believe that I can do this. So I did a lot of meditation. I did a lot of nature walks.

I did look at some more home birth videos. That was a part of the first series that I kind of continued looking at birth videos and reminding myself how many women have done this and can do this. Sure. I think those were the primary things. That and just getting more of a handle on this is what I really want and what is it going to look like? This is really going to happen.

Sure.

Lauren Bathgate (18:54.868)

where do I want to give birth in my home? These are the things that you wouldn't necessarily think of until it starts to become real. And what about birth supplies? And what does that look like? And there was a plan for all of that, but these were just some of the questions that went through my mind.

Gotcha, gotcha. Was there anything that you were afraid of about giving birth at home?

The transfer, I was definitely fearful about having to leave my home and go to the hospital and do a transfer because of many reasons. wasn't sure based on my first experience, you know, I had that negative experience and I also wasn't sure I've heard other people's stories when they do have to transfer in from a hospital or from a home birth that there may be some judgment or at least a feeling that one is being judged.

Right, right. Okay. And then what did your, and you said that was there more than one midwife?

There were, so there's a unique part of this story that I think is worthwhile to share because in a way it is similar to what happened with having multiple providers in the OB setting. So I had gone through a thorough process to identify a midwife that I really clicked with and felt like this would be a good fit. And then something happened and they weren't able to provide the care for the remainder of the pregnancy. was something outside of their control.

Dr. Nicole (20:22.19)

Sure.

And so someone else from their practice was able to step in and that worked out fine, but it was a big change, a big shift that was unexpected. All of that to say, you just never know what's going to happen. It's sort of like when you have a really good relationship with an OB provider and then the person who's on call is not that person.

Right, right. So at what point did the second person come into play?

I don't remember exactly when, it was a little bit maybe probably close to the third trimester.

Okay, so definitely towards the end. Okay, all right. So then what was the transfer plan? How was that discussed?

Lauren Bathgate (21:05.132)

So I had a doula as well for my second pregnancy and birth experience. And so they really helped me with that. There were three different plans. at least with the midwifery practice that I was part of, they encouraged a plan A, B, and C. And so your plan A is like, is ideal, everything that I was really hoping for and having. And I will say part of the midwifery model of care,

A lot of that is already built in. Some of the things that I wanted in terms of low intervention and collaboration and agency, all of those things, informed consent, that's just a given. And in many hospitals, it's just a given too. And I want to give credit where credit is due there. And then there's sort of a plan B, like if you have to have certain interventions. And then plan C was the hospital transfer plan. And so...

The other thing that I think is important to know is that the midwives do have some ability to provide care, not emergency care, of course, in the same way, but in terms of things like oxygen and what have you. So that was something that helped me when I was thinking about this, but I really benefited from the support of the doula in thinking emotionally, what is this going to feel like and how are we going to plan for this? So we identified a local hospital.

that I would be able to transfer to, that they had had some rapport with and had had experiences with people in the past who if they had to transfer there, they were familiar with what that looks like as far as home birth transfer to hospital.

Gotcha, gotcha. do you feel like the, and you said the doula helped you a lot, but did the midwives themselves say, they have any sort of relationship established with the hospital or did they help you kind of think through what that would look like or say when they would recommend transfer?

Lauren Bathgate (23:04.12)

They did. I don't remember as much about the transfer conversations. I think I put that out of my mind because that was a fear and it didn't happen. But they definitely did talk about that. And earlier when I referenced, I went to say the midwives were the ones who have the relationships and who had previously sent people to this particular hospital.

Gotcha, gotcha. And how far away was it from your home? Okay, okay.

about 10 minutes, which made me feel pretty supported, you know, knowing that it was that close by.

Gotcha, gotcha. And what was the experience level of these midwives? Had they been in practice for a while? Are those things that you looked into? Were they certified nurse midwives, certified professional midwives? tell us about that.

Definitely that is absolutely something that I looked for and was very important to me so the midwives that I ended up working with was a certified professional midwife and she had years and years of experience and one thing that is seems to be common in my area and maybe in other areas midwives share their statistics for the year so how many births and

Lauren Bathgate (24:15.662)

how many of those were live births, how many of those were transfers, all of those things. So I felt really good about the...

like shared with you as the client, like they were very like, this is my information.

Absolutely. And they publicize it too. I believe it's on her website if I'm not mistaken.

Okay, okay, okay. So that made you feel better. How many, I'm just curious, how many births or transfer? Do you remember roughly?

I don't remember, unfortunately, but I believe it was relatively low.

Dr. Nicole (24:45.49)

huh. Okay. Okay. All right. Interesting. I'm just trying, you know, this whole process, I think so often, especially as physicians, people, there's a thought that people are kind of going into this, but you obviously put a lot, a lot of thought, a lot of research into making this decision and this plan and how you wanted to approach birth.

That was really important to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you? How did your family or friends feel about you doing a home for?

That's a great question. You know, it's funny, I have this memory. I don't remember exactly what we were doing, but I was sitting with my mom and my sister and I had already made the decision and I was a little bit nervous to share the information because I didn't know how it would be received. And I said something and my mom looked at me and she said, you're going to have a home birth, aren't you? And I think she was partly joking, but maybe partly serious. And I said, yes.

Yes, I am. So that was that. And they were supportive. I think they were definitely concerned because it was something new that they hadn't experienced. And I think that's true for many people. Hospital birth is the norm. And so it's just something that people aren't used to. And I have a very dear friend of mine who is a physician.

Dr. Nicole (25:47.948)

Right, okay.

Lauren Bathgate (26:12.206)

And one of her comments to me, she was very supportive as well. She said, as long as you're okay with the risks.

Gotcha. Okay. Okay. And do you feel like you went into it with an accurate, like actually wanting to understand the risk and not just say, I'm not going to look at the risk at all.

Absolutely, yes. And I will say that was hard. That was really, really hard because when you're digging into that information, you are going to find stories that scare you. You are going to find anomalies or, you know, the onesies and choosies, you know, and that happens in the hospital setting as well.

Okay, so then let's get into what was your labor and birth like?

Yeah. So my experience, I like to think of it as night and day. It really was significantly different. And I always tell people it sort of, began with food. So.

Dr. Nicole (27:08.206)

Okay.

Dr. Nicole (27:14.136)

Yeah, I saw that when you wrote it.

It began and ended with food actually, but for now we'll start with how it began. So my husband decided that we needed to have fajitas the night before I went into labor and we actually had nachos with jalapenos and I'm surprised that that's something I was willing to eat. And I said, you know, I think you knew what you were doing because you know they say spicy foods can induce labor and maybe it's time, you know.

Right.

Lauren Bathgate (27:45.098)

And it worked, whether that's what he meant or not. I had contractions overnight, and so I was in labor and I was a little uncomfortable. I had to change positions a lot. I was sleeping and then waking up to move around and shift and sway. And then when I woke up on the morning that our son was born, they had slowed down a bit and I was scheduled to work. And lo and behold,

it turned out that our toddler had hand, and mouth unexpectedly. So there was a little bit of a wrench in things because you have to be careful that you don't want the baby to get hand, foot and mouth. And you know, it's just a lot more to navigate. And of course she wasn't really feeling well. And so I had to work from home and that all worked out well, I think. So I logged in and I had a last meeting with a colleague.

Okay.

Lauren Bathgate (28:39.336)

and was still having contractions at that time and they had started picking up and so I remember logging off and everyone wished me well and it was a unique experience because I worked in the hospital. I wasn't really somebody that worked much from home. And then I think I maybe ate some lunch and it was time for my daughter to take her nap and I thought, well, I better get some rest too. And I just remember I really, wasn't sure how long.

labor would take, you know, because every experience is so different. And I really was not experiencing contractions in the same way that I experienced them with my daughter. There was a lot more. I had a lot of back labor. My daughter was very significant, whereas with my son, I really didn't. And it really felt uncomfortable, but relatively manageable in comparison. I did end up.

I think I took a bath actually now that I think of it. I took a bath. You know, you do whatever you want to do. I think I did all of the things that I wanted to do in the hospital, but just wasn't able to do. So I really focused on what's going to make me feel supported and cared for here in my own space. and then I remember listening to some birthing affirmations and visualizations and I fell asleep for a bit. And then I woke up and things started to pick up at that point.

I called my mom to come. The plan was that she would be with my daughter while I was in labor and birthing. And there was one point where I sort of ventured out into our living room and I was on all fours because that was what made me feel comfortable.

And my daughter leaned over, I have a picture of this actually, it's a very sweet picture where I'm on all fours in the living room and she has her little hand on my back and she's just kind of like rubbing my back as I'm having a contraction. And then I remember feeling very pulled because it's a unique experience to have your child there while you were in labor and I needed so much to focus on my body and to sort of be a little bit more internal.

Lauren Bathgate (30:47.98)

and it was pulled between wanting to spend time with her and thinking that was very sweet. So ultimately I ended up having her stay with my mom and I went back into the quiet, dark bedroom and just had the nature sounds and the visualizations on. kind of fast forwarding, I think I had to use the restroom. So I got up at a certain point. Well, when I stood up, my water broke. And things progressed very, very quickly from there. This was,

I think this was maybe 5 or 5.30 in the evening. And I remember calling out to my husband who was making dinner and prepping the birth tub and all of the interesting things that happen in a home birth. And I said, I need you to stay with me. Things are moving really quickly. And we called the doula and the midwife. And so what was unique about this is in many other home birth experiences, they would have already been there most likely.

So that was a unique part of it.

And had you been in contact with them earlier or you just called them then?

Yeah, I had been just to let them know that, you know, I was contracting. And so they were aware and they were sort of waiting, you know. But I didn't personally feel the need to have them there. And then things rapidly picked up after the nap. And then all of sudden it was like, I do need you here. So as we were on the phone, my husband called the midwife and as we were on the phone with her.

Dr. Nicole (32:12.622)

Got it. Got it.

Lauren Bathgate (32:19.52)

She was asking you some questions and my voice was starting to do the thing that your voice does when your body is starting to push. And she has so much experience with hearing people's voices do that that she said, okay, we're gonna be there ASAP. I'm gonna send, there was an on-call midwife who was closer in the area. I'm gonna send her to meet you in the meantime. And I remember her saying, stay on all fours and blow like you're blowing out birthday candles.

Mmm.

Dr. Nicole (32:48.622)

Gotcha, gotcha. Okay. And I forgot to ask how many weeks were you?

It was effective in terms of slowing things down.

Lauren Bathgate (32:57.998)

Full term. Yeah, he was born about three days before his due date

Okay, okay, okay. right. So then how long did it take for the midwife to get there and what happened after that?

The on-call midwife arrived very quickly and at some point I think the doula may have actually gotten there around the same time or if not a couple of minutes before the on-call midwife. And they were very supportive and sprung into action right away. One of the first things that the on-call midwife asked me is, is it okay if I do a visual check to see what's happening? And I said sure. And so she did the visual check and she said, yep, you're.

and

Lauren Bathgate (33:35.81)

you're fully dilated, you're crowning, like there's baby's head. And I heard her on the phone just a moment later, she'd kind of stepped out of the room for a second to say to the midwife, come ready to catch.

Okay. Okay. All right. All right. Now, was this, had you met this on-call midwife before? Yes. Okay. Yes. Okay. Okay. Okay. So you could see the things were happening. So then what happens after that or how long after that was your baby born?

So he was born just after 6 p.m. So that was 5.30 when my water broke. So that was all very, very quick.

Okay, all right. Okay, all right. And then how long did you push and what position did you push in?

So I want to share this because I think it speaks to something that I said earlier. When I was in the hospital, there was a point where the same position was very comfortable for me, even more so with my daughter because of the back labor. I was on all fours in the hospital bed and they asked me to go onto my back and they actually had to help me get onto my back because I couldn't move in that position anymore. And once I got there, I was stuck there and I remember

Lauren Bathgate (34:40.641)

This is not how my body wants to push, but it's how I had to. And so fast forwarding to home birth, I had my all four wish granted. And so that is, so I mentioned the birth tub, that never came to fruition because of the-

Yeah

Dr. Nicole (34:57.25)

Did you even use it? Yes.

Not at that time. I did get to use it later, which was really special. So it was right there on our bed. And they have special liners and things that you can buy, which we had time to set up. yeah, and so pushing, I took my time with pushing and I was trying to really just listen to my body and go slowly and breathe through it. I had a minor tear with my first birth. And so was trying to prevent that with this one.

And so all things considered, it went very well and there was some assistance of the midwife to unwrap the cord at one point and then they helped assist my husband to place his hands and to actually be the one to catch our son. And he caught him and he sent him through my legs because I was on all fours and he said, here you go mommy.

Okay. Okay. Did you know it was going to be a boy? Okay. All right. And did he come out? How did he look when he came out?

Yeah.

Lauren Bathgate (36:02.221)

So she was very slippery.

Because he hadn't been wiped. So he was very you had the vernis. Right. He was white and pasty and very slippery. And, you know, but but he was doing well. And it took just a couple of moments. They kind of vigorously like rubbed him and encouraged me to just hold him tight. And then he had his first cry. So, you know, it's I think it's always scary when you're not sure what.

what it's going to look like.

Right. Okay. All right. So then what happens then? Do you just hang out in bed and then when, when, like, and then what happened with the cord, the placenta? What does that look like?

Yeah, yeah. So, my goodness, I could talk about this for hours. But I won't. I'll try to be as succinct as I can. And we can always have a follow up if you'd like to. Yeah. So, so at that time, they of course want to make sure that everything with baby is okay. So they there was a nice balance of allowing me to have sort of that golden hour time where you get to have your baby, you know, right up with you.

Lauren Bathgate (37:13.602)

And while also navigating, like, when is the placenta going to come? And yes, everything was still attached. so all of those things were navigated in a way that I saw it really supported by. I think at a certain point we decided we were ready to have my husband cut the cord. And so we did that. And I think they took the baby for a brief period after we had some good bonding time. And actually,

I'm mistaken. He was still there now that I think of it. He was still there with me in the room when I delivered the placenta. my body likes to take a little bit longer. I don't know if it's longer or if it's average. I'm not really sure. I didn't feel rushed by them and I really appreciated that.

Okay, do you know how long it took for the placenta to come out?

I don't know for sure. I don't think so. would say it was within a half hour. It definitely wasn't substantially longer than that. Gotcha. I just think it was a big difference in it. They kind of gave me space and allowed me. They were right there. I have a small house, so everything was in close proximity. But just not having someone in the same room as you're trying to pass a placenta, that was helpful.

More than half an hour, you think?

Dr. Nicole (38:29.582)

Gotcha. And did you have to get any stitches?

No, no, there were no tears this time around and I really do attribute that to allowing things to go slowly.

Yeah, and you did being in control, sounds like, while you were pushing for sure. and I forgot to ask, how are they monitoring your baby during the labor? Like checking his heartbeat?

So had it been a different situation, there would have been monitoring, but because everything happened so quickly, they basically came and he was born. That was something unique. They usually do, and I like to make sure that people know that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. All right. So then you have the baby, baby placenta is out, no stitches. Then what happens in that next few hours after that?

Lauren Bathgate (39:20.376)

You know, it's hard to believe when I tell this story that it really did happen this way, but we were in bed by 10 p.m. that night and going to sleep with our baby next to us in a bassinet.

And that was just it.

That was just it. My husband, at a certain point, broke away to put our daughter to sleep, you know, around 8 p.m. or something. And, you know, they help you take care of the laundry and everything that you need to do. These are some of the behind the scenes things, but nice to know, maybe. And, yeah, our baby was sleeping soundly. I had the ability to breastfeed him right away. And they were coming back the very next day to do a home visit. So I felt really reassured that

Great.

Lauren Bathgate (40:02.69)

We were really going to just be sleeping, waking up, seeing them again.

Okay, so how long did they stay after the birth then?

think probably about two hours. And I think they probably have a standard protocol that they follow for that. My recollection is about two hours.

Okay, okay. And then they came back the next day and then what was that? Just checking in to see how you were doing?

Yeah. And that was a really good visit. I felt really supported by having care. And I don't remember off the top of my head what the frequency was, but there was more frequency of postpartum visits. I think it was the following day and then perhaps about a week later.

Dr. Nicole (40:42.006)

Okay, okay, all right. How did you navigate things like birth certificate, the baby getting checked on with the pediatrician? How did those things work out?

I'm really glad that you asked that because I wanted to be sure to mention I would do a home birth all over again. The only thing to know is that some of those things that seem like they're just handled swiftly in the hospital require a little bit more coordination or at least you're aware of what's happening more. So the midwife helped me file all the paperwork for.

you know, getting the birth certificate and social security card and similar to how they do it in the hospital. You're just a little more aware of the process. Gotcha. Gotcha. the pediatrician is the same pediatrician that my daughter had. So that was pretty easy to just call and make an appointment. And they knew that he was a home birth baby.

Okay. Did they, did they know that beforehand? Like had you talked to them at all that you were planning to have a home birth or it wasn't until he was born at home and then you're like, Hey, I had this new baby and I need to get seen.

Yeah, they knew that I was pregnant and that they would have a new client or a new patient. I remember saying to her during one of my daughter's checkups, I'm going to have more business for you. But no, I don't think I shared that with them until I went in for the appointment.

Dr. Nicole (41:54.37)

And that's

Dr. Nicole (41:59.444)

God

Lauren Bathgate (42:06.65)

And the other thing to know is the hearing screening. Babies have to have hearing screenings. And that was an interesting experience for me because we had to schedule it. And they give you a list of providers where you can go and have that done. And there were some other providers involved in my son's care. That's maybe a separate point from this conversation, but explaining that you've had a home birth.

There are judgments or at least feelings that people may have or questions that people have and the questions I enjoy because it allows me to share this information.

Right. was there, because you know, I know they do the hearing screening, any sort of blood test screening, like how did all of that stuff happen? Did you have to take them take them into the pediatrician or did the midwife do any of that?

I think the midwives had the ability to do some of the things and some of them were at the pediatrician's office, but I don't remember which were which.

Okay, all right. And then the pediatrician, you, how was their reaction when you said you had a home?

Lauren Bathgate (43:11.896)

They were supportive. I don't think it was very much of a focus, but I do remember when they had requested the records. And so obviously the records are coming from a midwife, and so it documents the home birth. And she walked into the room, and I actually felt really supported by this. She said, so home birth, huh?

I think a lot of people were really surprised that I made that decision.

particularly since you work in a hospital. Yeah, yeah. And was there anybody that you felt, you know, that stands out that was judgy or anything negative about the experience afterwards?

Yeah, exactly.

Lauren Bathgate (43:55.426)

I think the hearing screening was one. I can't think of specifically anything that was said, but I just remember feeling not as comfortable.

Gotcha, gotcha. Okay, okay. So is there anything that you didn't like about having a home birth?

don't think so. I think, you when we talk about just those minor, like, I don't even want to call it an inconvenience. It's really just different. It's just not quite the same, you know, as far as, you know, filling out the birth certificate and social security and all of that hearing screening. But no, I really enjoyed the experience and I think it was really supportive of myself and my family and my baby.

Gotcha. Gotcha. And then this is going to be a hard question to ask. And you can totally say, I don't know if I can answer this, but if they were able to in the hospital create more of a supportive experience where you felt like, know, you were, you could, they were supportive of the things that were important to you. Looked at your birth wishes, talked about things. If they were able to create more of a

that type of experience inside of the hospital, do you feel like you would have been more open to having another hospital birth? Would you have even looked to have a home birth?

Lauren Bathgate (45:18.37)

I think in my particular case, because I wanted to have a home birth with my first, my answer might be a little bit different than what you may expect otherwise. I do think, and I sometimes think about this, like if we were to have another child and there were indicators, like let's say I were higher risk for some reason, which I should mention I was very low risk and had a very healthy pregnancy, which I'm very grateful for.

And they do look at those things. Those are important factors because some people risk out of the ability to have a Humber. So I do think there are so many things that could make a significant difference. Of course, one of those being just a change in the model of care, which is a tall order. And I know you've talked about that on your podcast, which I really appreciate. And because...

It's true. I think you said this in a recent podcast. It's not midwives that are making, they are, they're making a big difference. It's the midwifery model of care and it's the ability to be collaborative with your provider, whether that's an OB or a midwife or whomever the provider is. And I think I understand, you know, both

personally and professionally why the hospital is set up the way that it is. We do have to have policies. There are risks, there's liability and all of those things. And there are small things that I think could be done to make a significant difference, you know.

Gotcha, gotcha. That makes perfect sense. So then as we wrap up, what would you say is your one favorite piece of advice that you would tell women as they get ready for their birth?

Lauren Bathgate (47:00.396)

I think I would say trust yourself, trust your body, really take care of your mind and trust the birthing process.

Love it, love it, love it. So then where can women connect with you if they want to learn more about you or ask you questions or you can say nowhere if you want or if you're open to it? Because you're in a very unique position that you've done both.

Yes, absolutely. I would love to hear from people who are interested in learning more or who are interested in having their own home birth. GuidedInNature.com is my website and GuidedInNature on Instagram as well.

Okay. All right. Well, thank you so much, Lauren, for agreeing to come onto the podcast. I managed to keep it to just over 45 minutes. I think I could talk longer about this. This is just so fascinating and interesting to me. And I'm trying to learn more about it myself, but I really appreciate you coming on.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that you're doing this work. It means a lot that you're taking this on. I know it's a really big topic and an important topic and it just, it really does mean so much that you're doing this.

Dr. Nicole (48:12.408)

Wasn't that a great episode? I really appreciate how thoughtful Lauren was with her approach to doing a home birth. And I took a lot of notes for this one. And speaking of notes, you know, after every conversation, I do something called Dr. Nicole's notes, which are my top takeaways from the conversation. Here are my Dr. Nicole's notes from my conversation with Lauren. But before I get into the notes, I just want to tell you real quick.

If you're preparing for a hospital birth and you're wondering how you can cultivate more calm and confidence from the inside out, I would love it if you join me in my peaceful pregnancy workshop on May 19th at 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. I've designed this workshop to help you get into the right headspace for your birth and during your pregnancy with practical tools to support your mindset and your experience every step of the way.

Grab your seat in this workshop. There'll be a Q and A afterwards as well at drnicholerinkins.com forward slash com. Okay, first note with Lauren, number one, evidence-based and emotionally grounded choices can coexist. Lauren approached her decision to have a home birth with both heart and research. She looked at the data, she vetted providers.

made a transfer plan and still centered what felt safest for her emotionally. Whether you birthed at home or in a hospital, this balance of head and heart is so important and it's absolutely possible. Number two, birth planning should be a collaborative process. Lauren's midwives involved her in planning, not just one scenario, but three, ideal birth, plan B and transfer to the hospital. That kind of collaboration

builds trust and reduces fear. Hospital teams, we can absolutely borrow from this model by having more open and anticipatory conversations, not just about what will happen, but what might happen and how we will navigate that together. Number three, informed consent isn't optional, it is foundational.

Dr. Nicole (50:23.064)

From membrane sweeps to pain management, Lauren's hospital birth included some moments where consent wasn't fully respected. At home, everything was explained and asked. This is a reminder that informed consent should be sacred in absolutely every medical setting. Home, hospital, pregnancy, outside of pregnancy, all of it. Number four.

Respectful care transcends birth settings. Lauren wasn't trying to like win people over to home birth or, everybody has to do a home birth. Her story isn't really about that. It's really about showing that respectful personalized care should be the standard wherever you give birth. I've said this over and over again. You shouldn't have to leave the hospital in order to have a respectful and supported birth experience.

Home birth and hospital birth should absolutely be options where you can have a great birth because not everybody will be able to give birth at home or they don't want to give birth at home or it's not the right setting for them. We can and must do better about centering the needs of the woman, the person giving birth, no matter where they give birth. And then finally, there is so much power.

in being seen and supported. One of the most striking things Lauren shared was how emotionally safe she felt during her home birth. And emotional safety is a real form of safety and it's really important and helps you to labor better actually. You labor better during birth when you feel safe. Being seen, heard, supported shouldn't be a luxury, it should be the norm.

And this is definitely a call to action for all of us who work in hospital birth. How can we create more of that kind of environment within our own walls? We absolutely have to do so. All right, now that is it for this episode. If you found it helpful, please share it with a friend because every pregnant woman in person deserves to feel informed and empowered. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode, including those bonus episodes that I drop on Thursdays.

Dr. Nicole (52:43.98)

And if you're loving the show, would really appreciate you leaving a quick review. It helps more moms to be found birth with power. And most importantly, it helps them to step into birth with confidence, just like you. And I'd love to hear what you thought about this episode, especially since it's the first time I featured a home birth story. Come join the conversation over on the gram. I'm on Instagram at Dr. Nicole Rankins. Let me know your takeaways, questions you have about home birth. My DMs are always open. I love hearing from you.

and then do me one more favor and come on back next week and remember to trust your power and take charge of your birth.